Among my girlfriends we have always been open about any trouble we might have had through our pregnancies, trying to get through the two week wait or any other issues we’ve faced.
As I meet more young men and women abroad, particularly in India, I find that no one really talks about it.
Everyone will ask you if you’re pregnant but no one will open up about how to get there – other than the obvious, duh. It’s very taboo. Why? Is this not a natural part of life? Why struggle through something by yourself when you can help others and share your sorrows and grow together? As we try to break through these forbidden barriers, let’s open the doors to conversation.
The first aspect is lack of ‘the right’ sexual education. I remember being in grade 7 and my parents had requested to pull us out of Sex Ed at school. My mom being a doctor would rather have preferred to teach us the anatomy at home and herself. There weren’t any topics that were cut out and sometimes it got to be very medical – but now that I have kids I have to agree with her. I would rather be the one to educate my own kids rather than someone else being the first voice that the child hears about it from – whether it be friends or teachers. Kids are now talking about sex at a much younger age and it is scary. What do you think the right age is to start this conversation?
As you get older the conversation for women should shift slightly to help them understand their menstrual cycle and the changes they should expect and what is healthy and what’s not. I’m going to try and avoid the word ‘normal’ as each body is different from the other but we can all aim to be healthy. A lot of women either get their cycle regularly and know when to expect it or it’s very scattered month to month. If your cycle isn’t regular I would definitely start with the nourishment you’re providing your body. Are you giving your body what it needs? If not, try and change it. There are so many nutritional resources available nowadays. Another thing to do would be to get your hormones tested. See what is in balance and what is out of balance, and instead of just medicating to temporarily fix the issue, change your lifestyle so that it gives you better results for the long term. I truly believe that the fuel you feed your body can fix almost anything.
Once you get your cycle dates figured out, I would definitely recommend using a cycle tracker app. There are a ton of free options out there these days, a few being Flo, Ovia, Clue, MyDaysX. See which one is suitable for you and what your needs are. Whether you’re using it to track your periods, monitor ovulation while trying to get pregnant, or when to plan your next pool party. Use it – you won’t regret it. Comment below to share ones that you have used and loved.
If you are trying to get pregnant, know that as a women you only have a 2 to 3 day window between each cycle for when you actually can conceive. Don’t let others fool you by telling you it can happen anytime. That 2-3 day window is usually halfway between your cycle start date and your next cycle start date. If you have long gap between cycles, then it will most likely be 14 days before your next cycle date – which may not be so easy to determine especially if you have off cycles. If you don’t have regular cycles I would highly recommend buying a large quantity pack of cheap ovulation strips. This will help make your life easier. You may also notice some cramping during those days as your egg(s) release, but in order to notice all of these things you have to be aware of your body and truly understand it. There are a lot of other checks and changes you can monitor, for example, your cervix or mucus lining. Try to let the pregnancy happen naturally but don’t expect to get pregnant if you’re not even having sex at the right time.
Now with wedding season around the corner, a note to all the Aunties – not everyone wants to have a baby! Please stop asking as to when to expect one.
Regardless of whether you want to have a baby or not, understanding your cycle can also be a great way of contraception.
So remember:
- Don’t be shy to talk about your cycle and what each phase means
- Track it… get an app to do the hard work for you
- Enjoy the process… whether you’re trying to get pregnant or not
Life’s too short to consider not opening up about taboo topics. Share the knowledge.
xo, Zarine
